There is Nowhere to Go, There is Nothing to Do, There is No One to Be…
February 26, 2021 There is nowhere to go, there is nothing to do, there is no one to be…
Sitting in my writing and relief chair in my living room, I am staring at the ocean. I remember all the long “to do” lists I still have on my desk. I think how only till a few days ago the days were filled with getting things done, and certain projects seemed like “too much time” … In the chair, while the pain is present, staring at the ocean is just the best I can do right now. I can sit an hour and stare. At times, there is a tear for what is lost, and at other times, there is this complete acceptance. The truth is, sitting in my chair staring, I get how the bare truth is that there is nowhere to go, there is nothing to do, and there is no one to be… all those are invented. Society drives us to get a profession, family, kids, work and achieve whatever it is that we said we want to achieve. At times we find ourselves running to get things done without stopping to smell the roses or re-evaluate and think. Is this what gives me joy? Am I happy doing that?
I think of my workload. At my age, I do not really need to work at all. Yet, I always kept some things to take care of. Mostly bills and managing the business. Mostly in spread sheets, or bill pays. I enjoyed dealing with numbers and being on top of the business and the bills. At the same time, I’ve always looked at people who spend their whole day sitting on the beach reading, and I thought that could be fun too. Just sitting and reading.
Sitting in my chair and staring at the ocean I am just being. Aware. Every little thing becomes an object of awareness, curiosity, and joy. I put a blueberry in my mouth, and I feel it with my tongue, the birds are chirping, and their sound seems so clear and beautiful, and encompasses all my attention. The sunlight shining on the ocean, like kinetic art, keeps changing. I smile. This just can be a fun way to be. I can not achieve much, and yet, there is a way to bring joy to everything.