Perhaps Love
Happy Valentine’s day to my beloved family. I adore, cherish, love, and respect every one of you. I feel lucky, blessed, and proud to have you as those I hold most dear to me. And thank you, for being there for me in such a generous and caring way since my diagnosis. I have no words to express my gratitude.
So, it is LOVE day today. John Denver had a song called “Perhaps love” which is one of Bruce’s and my favorite songs. It goes like that:
“Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm. It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm. And in those times of trouble when you are most alone. The memory of love will bring you home. Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door. It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more.
And even if you lose yourself and don’t know what to do. The memory of love will see you through. Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel. For some a way of living, for some a way to feel. And some say love is holding on and some say letting go. And some say love is everything, and some say they don’t know.
Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain. Like a fire when it’s cold outside, thunder when it rains. If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true. My memories of love will be of you. Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel. For some a way of living, for some a way to feel. And some say love is holding on and some say letting go. And some say love is everything, and some say they don’t know.”
So what is love? For me, Love is an ongoing process of self-discovery. Love is where as humans, we get the opportunity to look at how much we play from our ego and separateness and how much from the heart, from understanding and compassion. Perhaps there is not much true love in a self-centered being. Perhaps it is in Oneness that we can feel, be and act love.
Here is an example. I cherish my mornings. This has always been the time when I like to take advantage of the stillness of the world, to meditate and write. Years ago, I asked Bruce to be quiet in the morning. Not talk to me until I am done. There is no problem in making such request. The issue came out when he forgot, or wanted to say something. I used to come from Ego, and make him wrong. Perhaps even get upset. It was all about me and my right to have what I want. There was no love present in those moments when I made him wrong, and my resistance had a way of spreading to the rest of the day. Once I got it and moved to my heart, I got that I am adding meaning to what seemed like “he doesn’t remember what’s important to me” or “He doesn’t care enough” or whatever. Once I completely let this “Me” attitude go, if he would say something while I am writing, I would just smile, come from full acceptance and kindness, and say whatever without making him wrong. Just this tiny little act opened a space for so much love. It was not about “me” anymore, it was about another human being wanting to connect. The shift impacted the rest of the day. Love was present. Love became an act, as well as a feeling and a way of being.
A story I love about love is about my Aba. My aba never said “I love you” to me. Once, perhaps 15 years ago, I asked him for the reason, I told him I missed hearing it. Aba said something I was not expecting. He said: “I love my wife very much. I do not have the same feeling for anyone else in the world, so I can’t say it!” I got it! And yet, I told him that this is not a love issue, it is a semantic issue. We simply do not have different words to Love my daughter, my morning coffee, or my dog. He understood, and from then on, he said “I love you” often…
Aba is with me, deep in my heart today, as all of you.
What is love for you?
I love you so much, and forever,
Happy valentine’s day,
Ima